View Full Version : That's life

31-03-2008, 11:40 AM

They can be such fun, and do seem to keep you young...
but interestingly, order of birth seems to endow children with different qualities.
Those born second, often seem to be a little more rebellious than the first-born's.

Picture the scene, 3 children
The eldest daughter aged 10,
The second-born, a daughter aged 8
and last but not least, a son aged 5.

It's Saturday (29th March 2008 - yes, this really happened), and Mother is out all day.
This means that the children can relax and have fun, watch TV and eat sweets
(all of which are not allowed when mother is around).
So, the TV is on and I take a bottle of "Fizzy" water up to them with some glasses.

Later on, at around 5pm, I decide we will have some dinner, and so we all troop down,
with me carrying the tray with the almost empty bottle and the glasses.
As we sit down, the 8 year old says "I'm thirsty, can I have a drink"...
"Of course" I reply and pass the nearly empty bottle over.
"Is that the one from upstairs" she asks
"Yes" - I replied
"Well, I don't want that one, can I have a different one" she says.
OK, this rings alarm bells - so I start probing and eventually we get....
"Well, it's just that I THINK I saw someone spit in it" she said.
"Oh, dear, who would do something as awful as that" I replied.
"I think it was Marcus" she said.
Marcus vehemently denied this, and at this point, Mother would have the thumbscrews and rack out
with screaming sobbing children, but I don't approve of that and had to think quickly.
Going out of the room, I came back in 30s later with 4 pieces of paper and wrote each of our names on a piece,
licking mine immediately and asking the youngest and eldest to do the same -
which they did although a little surprised.
I then asked the middle one to lick hers and here's the conversation from then on:
"Why do I have to lick it"
"Well, obviously, I am not going to use the methods mummy uses, but I would like to find out what's going on,
so I am doing a 'Differential DNA test, we simply take your DNA, mix it with that from the bottle
and if the dna from both is the same, it will show up,
if it is different, it won't show up because there will be different strands in the DNA
which will stop the formation of the Purple dye.
Obviously, if you didn't do it, then you won't object to giving a DNA sample".
At this point, she reluctantly gave a 'DNA sample' saying that she was innocent,
but started giving quite a few implausible reasons as to why her DNA would be in the bottle.
Obviously, I am getting the message here and now it's just a matter of time before she sings like a little song-bird.
Processing the test for me was relatively simple since by now, I knew the culprit and simply sneaked a bit of litmus powder
from the eldest girls chemistry set upstairs with me and dropped a few tiny crystals on the sample in question when nobody
was looking and then shepherded them all back downstairs saying we needed 3 minutes and started the stopwatch on my watch.
When I started the stopwatch, middle daughter blanched and started giving much more implausible scenarios...
At three minutes, she was trying to beat everyone upstairs to destroy the evidence,
but eldest daughter who liked the idea of being able to have proof,
managed to slow her down enough that we all arrived at the bathroom at the same time -
there it was, her piece of purple paper which rendered her stunned and silent and the others in awe.

I didn't have to reduce her to tears by shouting like mummy would have done,
and she was as meek as a lamb for the rest of the weekend.
All the children now seem to have a healthy respect for someone who can do a
'Differential DNA test' (which doesn't actually exist).

31-03-2008, 11:57 AM
Very nice Sirus, and very sneaky...... i like it, "differential DNA Tests" at the ready :grin: always hate shouting, love forensic science

Kevso :)

31-03-2008, 09:40 PM
Haha that's amazing. I'll have to keep it in mind if I ever have kids!

31-03-2008, 10:04 PM
very nice! Now if only it worked in my family...

31-03-2008, 10:21 PM
sneaky ^^ but clever ;)

01-04-2008, 09:09 AM
I wonder how she'll do when she finds out how badly you fooled her.:?:

Aragon Speed
19-05-2008, 03:08 AM

19-05-2008, 03:20 AM
I remember you telling me this one Sirus. Still great tho m8